I'll start by telling you that this is not something easy for me to talk
about because
unfortunately this experience is still very close to home. I have changed
the name of
my partener and friends to protect my own identity. What I have written
here
is only a breif account of my experiences, the rest I have shut out to
protect my
sanity.
I met Freddie at Star City casino on a night out with my mother and her
friends. He
was absolutely lovely, the perfect gentleman you could say, he showed me
a
wonderful night and we exchanged phone numbers. We started seeing eachother
everyday, which was unusual for me because I am someone who likes her space.
On the days I told him I couldnt meet him he would turn up at my work.
At first I
thought it was really sweet and adorable that he couldnt stand to
be away from me
for too long.
I took him out a few times to meet my friends and automatically they grew
a great
dislike for him. I thought oh sure....theyre just jealous and dismissed
them. Since
then I have hardly heard from or seen my friends.
After a few weeks things started to became unbearable and he would not
let me go to
work, see my friends, even go home, he especially did not like me talking
to my
parents.
One day he decided that he wanted to buy me a puppy, I replied with the
logical
answer, I am sorry but I cannot get another dog because I already have
two huge
Rotweillers and the backyard is barely big enough for the two of them.
As soon as
the words came out of my mouth, he hit me closed fisted clean across the
face so
hard I had the mark three days later. I remember how hurt I felt not because
of the
pain but because he dared raise a hand like that to me, a slap I could
have dealt
with but full fisted, was not only excessive but uncalled for. That was
the first time
and certainly not the last time he hit me.
On several occaisions he hit me like that for what seemed to me was for
no reason
whenever he got angry he would hit me, whenever he didnt get his way he
would hit
me, if traffic was bad he would hit me, if it was raining he would hit
me, if he ran
out of cigarrettes he would hit me, basically whenever he felt like it.
It was always
hard and full fisted. If he didn't hit me across the face he would hit
me right in the
middle of the chest.
About a month after we started seeing eachother, He decided that he wanted
to travel
around Australia and forced me to sell my car, a brand new Hyundai Excel
he of
course had nothing. He said "...if you dont do it, I will break your jaw..."
amongst
other things. I never saw the money, he bought this stupid stinking heap
of a
campervan that hardly started, had rust holes everywhere, leaked when it
rained. I
was so scared of him by this point that I followed him in the campervan
to
Melbourne, I never even got to say goodbye to my parents, grandmother
and baby
brother because he wouldnt permit it.
We didnt have any money, the money left over from the car he squandered
away
on cigarrettes and other rubbish. I was stuck in a strange city, with strange
people
no money and no job. I was so scared of him I didnt tell him how I felt,
I was so
petrified of him and his meathooks that I followed him around like a puppy.
We lived
week to week. He took my ring that my parents gave me for my 17th birthday
and
sold it at a hock shop for $20. My grandmother gave me a necklace that
never left my
neck since the day she gave it to me also got sold at another hock shop.
I just handed
it all over, not wanting him to get angry.
I so desperatley wanted to call my parents and let them know that I was
alright but
he would always say that I didnt need them anymore beacuse I had him, he
was quite
wrong about that, if I ever needed my parents it was now.
We moved from van park to van park in that stupid campervan, there was
no toilet
in the campervan so we had to hire a site with a toilet. I would have to
get up in
the middle of the night and run like hell to make it to the toilet in time.
The work
he did on my kidneys has totally ruined my bladder control. One night I
didnt make
it, I sat down on the ground in tears and a man in the caravan next door
came out
and asked me if I needed help, I told him no, just as he turned away from
me Freddie
came out of the campervan and told me to get inside. I got one of the worst
beatings
of my life. He accused me of sleeping with the man next door because my
pyjamas
were wet, I told him that I didnt make it to the toilet he head-butt me
and I fell
straight to the floor , he hit me that hard I blacked out , when I came
to he was
pummling my kidneys like usual, I rolled over and threw up I assume I had
a
concussion I had a lump on my forehead the size of a tennis ball, I just
lay there
on the floor frozen I couldnt move, it didnt stop him though, I lay there
and tried to
block out the pain, after he finished, I lay there all night in the cold
crying, I did not
move, I didnt want to give him an excuse to start again.
In early December he decided to sell the campervan and by an old Holden,
he had
a knack of buying old bombs. He didnt even ask me just did it, then he
beat the hell
out of me because now we had no where to live and there wasnt enough room
to
put all our stuff in the car. We were in the car park of a shopping centre,
he beat
me from one end to the other, people walked past shaking their heads, I
was bruised
and screaming at him to leave me alone but no one helped me they looked
away
and walked faster. He broke my jaw and three of my teeth, I couldnt even
go to the
doctor, he would not let me. For weeks on I was in extreme pain. It was
then I
decided to kill myself. I took a box of anti-depressants and went to sleep
on the floor
when he got home, he tried to wake me by kicking me several times in the
stomach
I dont know how many times it was before the pain woke me up, he found
the pills
called my every name under the sun and started his usual reigmen , I decided
then
that my only purpose was his punching bag.